the last 5 minutes

The last 5 minutes were a reminder of how much I am capable of hating every fucking thing in the world.  Also, this morning I hurt the feelings of a friend I consider to see me possibly the best/most of anyone I have ever been friends with.  I am feeling more regret about a decision I made this morning, which was not to wait for her for just 20 minutes, than I have basically any decision I have made in months. FUCK!