Birthdays

I'll be 31 tomorrow.  Hard to believe.  There was a time I thought I would have children by now, but it's been a while since I thought that.  I did think I would have a partner that I was in love with, but that's not the case either.  I feel so fluid now.  I feel so angry now.  My birthday reminds me of how much I love and hate alexis and my family, and how much I hate the world for taking her from me.  i guess maybe tomorrow ill try to write something more meaningful. or just something