sometimes
sometimes it isn't bad. I liked my relationship with big dog because when her and I were dating, and I was out living hanging w friends whatever, on my own, I had very little anxiety. That anxiety has come back since we broke up, and hanging with friends is harder now. I guess breakups are just hard. Part of me feels like the breakup was the wrong thing, because I'm coming out of the relationship and throwing myself into a project even through my sadness about it. Usually, I just feel like I made a ton of bad choices. While I have regrets, I think for the most part I was sweet and caring and kind to her. I really love her and I feel like I showed that a lot. Of course I made mistakes, but I also think I did a lot right. I'm gonna keep throwing myself into writing, keep looking into MFT programs, and let the pain of the losing her sink in. It's been enough time, I need to let myself feel the sadness more often so I it hurts less
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