Letter # 2 Good Morning ABC
Hi,
I just woke up at my friend's house in San Francisco. I am writing because I'm imagining you waking up with someone else and it isn't me. My shoulder hurts so fucking bad. It kept me awake until 3am and it is absolutely killing me right now. I've been listening to that CCFX song the one to wait, I think you played it for me, either way, it reminds me of you. I talked to a friend about you and us yesterday on the phone for 3 hours before driving to SF, it made me feel better. I don't feel as good now. What am I gonna do today? Is that what you would ask if I could call you? Would you tell me you wanted a hug as badly as I want one right now? Is that even possible? I want to see you, I want to be with you, I want you. I have plans to see close friends in Oakland, then to watch stupid TV with the woman I've been sleeping with who already wants too much from me, and I can't be with her without thinking of you. She isn't important to the story of my life and tonight I will tell her that I don't want to sleep w her anymore.
I wonder if you can meet someone else like me. Can someone else take the place in your heart, am I special? Again and again I want to be special, I need to be special...is this my final stand against death? Do I live on in the memory and desire of others? What happens when I stop being thought of and wanted. I worry about Canada. I am coming in 6 weeks and I know it's too soon to see you. I worry you will be with someone else, and I won't be able to deal with it, and I won't be able to see you and I will move to Oahu and we won't see each other for so long. I worry, I worry, I worry, I miss you, still. And my shoulder is fucking killing me. This is probably the worst it has ever hurt. The cortizone shot should be working by now. Why isn't it working why aren't you here. Couldn't we have figured it out? Couldn't we have figured out the border stuff? My brother and his partner figured out bigger border problems and found a way to be together. Why can't we? I'm turning this song off and I'm going to attempt to stop imagining you in the arms of another this morning, you staring into another's eyes the way we used to, you kissing someone w the love that you used to kiss me with. My mouth remains dry and my lips untouched by yours and my body unhugged by you.
I just woke up at my friend's house in San Francisco. I am writing because I'm imagining you waking up with someone else and it isn't me. My shoulder hurts so fucking bad. It kept me awake until 3am and it is absolutely killing me right now. I've been listening to that CCFX song the one to wait, I think you played it for me, either way, it reminds me of you. I talked to a friend about you and us yesterday on the phone for 3 hours before driving to SF, it made me feel better. I don't feel as good now. What am I gonna do today? Is that what you would ask if I could call you? Would you tell me you wanted a hug as badly as I want one right now? Is that even possible? I want to see you, I want to be with you, I want you. I have plans to see close friends in Oakland, then to watch stupid TV with the woman I've been sleeping with who already wants too much from me, and I can't be with her without thinking of you. She isn't important to the story of my life and tonight I will tell her that I don't want to sleep w her anymore.
I wonder if you can meet someone else like me. Can someone else take the place in your heart, am I special? Again and again I want to be special, I need to be special...is this my final stand against death? Do I live on in the memory and desire of others? What happens when I stop being thought of and wanted. I worry about Canada. I am coming in 6 weeks and I know it's too soon to see you. I worry you will be with someone else, and I won't be able to deal with it, and I won't be able to see you and I will move to Oahu and we won't see each other for so long. I worry, I worry, I worry, I miss you, still. And my shoulder is fucking killing me. This is probably the worst it has ever hurt. The cortizone shot should be working by now. Why isn't it working why aren't you here. Couldn't we have figured it out? Couldn't we have figured out the border stuff? My brother and his partner figured out bigger border problems and found a way to be together. Why can't we? I'm turning this song off and I'm going to attempt to stop imagining you in the arms of another this morning, you staring into another's eyes the way we used to, you kissing someone w the love that you used to kiss me with. My mouth remains dry and my lips untouched by yours and my body unhugged by you.
posted by Rydra Cosmo at
9:01 AM
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