i was infinitely happier walking the lonely streets than i was inside the bar(the red lion). maybe i should try to never surround myself w lots of people who mostly just annoy me. maybe part of it is me, im not sure. either way, its hard to have a good time w out being distracted by a buncha people actin in ways which i can only assume will end up causing themselves more pain physically and emotionally. yeah, its empty. but what is full, is living ur life constantly thinking about every minute detail and every relationship living ur life fully, i personally would say no. but also, i wouldnt say going out "partying" all the time is either. i have serious issues w the act of getting drunk, yet i smoke weed on a fairly occasional basis. i consider getting drunk to be different, mind altering in a differnet way, and more harmful and dangerous to those around you. for me, getting high is a way to distract myself from my problems w out hooking up w random girls, getting emotional, or all the bullshit that goes w getting drunk. one could call it a crutch(no pun intended) but i dont do it often enough for it to be a crutch. anyways, i guess i should prob just not go out to these places if all it does it give me a deep feeling of unhappiness about the world and my life.