on meetings friends and therapists

My therapist is a jewish man in the age range of  my father.  I fucking love this guy. Another time, when sleep feels further, I will write about him.  Tonight's story is shorter.  It is 11:30pm and I just got back from walking to some apartment complex down the street to sneak into their jacuzzi, a common occurrence these days.  More solid conversation and mediation with friends.  Before that I cooked a quick dinner with a friend and before that spoke to another close friend about some of the stuff going on with them for a couple hours.  It's funny how days seem so empty to begin with.  I also neglect to mention, that I went to an SAA meeting in between dinner and the jacuzzi.  I am not sure if that is a fit for me, but something about sex has never been quite right for me and right now I am resolved to taking a break from fucking before I get more of an idea of what is going on there, and also work on some of the attachment issues I have when I fall for someone.  It feels nice to take myself seriously and resolve to take a break from fucking and romantic relationships and focus on the full life I have.  I have many close friends here, and more spread across the globe who I wish to be in more contact with. 

 The whole point of writing this was that I spent a good bulk of the day beating myself up for not going surfing and didn't fucking give myself credit for going to therapy at 8am and spending emotional energy on people I care about.  I also completed a third day of not giving into the easy temptation of looking at her shit.  So, there is that.