Getting over it:
it seems like lately i cant stop running into people who are still in love w someone else. my roomate gina still loves her ex bf from high school. this girl sara im sorta interested in has issues w her ex or so i have heard that they still talk which makes me hesitant about pursuing her. Everywhere i go, someone is getting over their ex. Is this how love life is going to be, is everyone getting over their first real love forever, or is it only for a year or a few. Will i ever be satisfied that i am not with aly anymore? i dont know, but seeing other friends and how they have done attempting to get over exes im not so sure. I have a couple friends who are doing better than others. my roomate kirk loved his gf, even tho he would tell me he couldnt see himself marrying her, but i must admit i dont really believe he meant that. But even tho they sometimes hang out he is living his life w out stressing on a daily basis. My good friend chelsea seems to be totally over her ex but it might be easier for pretty girls cause they have lots of options, just like it seems kirk has a lot of options. Well, i dunno if thats true, i know some good looking girls who seem to have the same problem. Either way, i find this whole idea depressing. will i love again? i dunno, i mean it makes life worth living just that the possibility is out there. But, i dont want to be someones second favorite, i wouldnt want to marry someone or raise kids with them if they still have this special place for their first love which carries more emotional weight than our relationship. I dont want the next girl i get serious with to feel that way about me and my ex. i want something pure, but everything is tainted. everyone is tainted from mistakes made at young ages. my mistakes have been many and often, but always made out of love. how come i cant make a blog about love or relationships with rambling incessantly, im not quite sure.
On another note, the anger is still there, even hanging out with my brother i get full of rage, and i try not to take it out indirectly on other people who just happen to be there. i know when im happy i can be hilarious and fun, and lighten up a room, but i know that i can also bring a room down with my anger, cynicism, and depression. I dont want to do the latter. I want to make the lives of those i care about brighter and happier. I am going to strive to do that. after my dad visits things will change. if they dont change, i will move immediately, i dont know where, but im running out of options, and i must try something new. I cannot live this way anymore. I DONT WANNA LAY HERE ANYMORE
....ending an eems blog w a conor oberst quote always seem right to me,,,
it seems like lately i cant stop running into people who are still in love w someone else. my roomate gina still loves her ex bf from high school. this girl sara im sorta interested in has issues w her ex or so i have heard that they still talk which makes me hesitant about pursuing her. Everywhere i go, someone is getting over their ex. Is this how love life is going to be, is everyone getting over their first real love forever, or is it only for a year or a few. Will i ever be satisfied that i am not with aly anymore? i dont know, but seeing other friends and how they have done attempting to get over exes im not so sure. I have a couple friends who are doing better than others. my roomate kirk loved his gf, even tho he would tell me he couldnt see himself marrying her, but i must admit i dont really believe he meant that. But even tho they sometimes hang out he is living his life w out stressing on a daily basis. My good friend chelsea seems to be totally over her ex but it might be easier for pretty girls cause they have lots of options, just like it seems kirk has a lot of options. Well, i dunno if thats true, i know some good looking girls who seem to have the same problem. Either way, i find this whole idea depressing. will i love again? i dunno, i mean it makes life worth living just that the possibility is out there. But, i dont want to be someones second favorite, i wouldnt want to marry someone or raise kids with them if they still have this special place for their first love which carries more emotional weight than our relationship. I dont want the next girl i get serious with to feel that way about me and my ex. i want something pure, but everything is tainted. everyone is tainted from mistakes made at young ages. my mistakes have been many and often, but always made out of love. how come i cant make a blog about love or relationships with rambling incessantly, im not quite sure.
On another note, the anger is still there, even hanging out with my brother i get full of rage, and i try not to take it out indirectly on other people who just happen to be there. i know when im happy i can be hilarious and fun, and lighten up a room, but i know that i can also bring a room down with my anger, cynicism, and depression. I dont want to do the latter. I want to make the lives of those i care about brighter and happier. I am going to strive to do that. after my dad visits things will change. if they dont change, i will move immediately, i dont know where, but im running out of options, and i must try something new. I cannot live this way anymore. I DONT WANNA LAY HERE ANYMORE
....ending an eems blog w a conor oberst quote always seem right to me,,,
1 Comments:
I think that people will always have a place in their heart for their first love, but will not always be in love with them. Your comment about good-looking people with options made me laugh. But anyways, I find myself in the same predicament, but I think you just have to wait. And NO you will not be someone's second choice, because that's not the way things operate. Why so angry? You should go home james... <3
By jessica, at 11:54 PM
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