rage cage

Had a weird weekend with my new crushy person A.  We spent 4 days together mostly camping in the woods of santa cruz.  I thought overall it went pretty well.  Apparently, not so much.  She told me she felt like a reified creature created out of external desires and that made her disassociate and feel really shitty.  I wore it hard, and sent a ridiculously long and personal email all about my past and issues with physical intimacy and relationships.  Now, I am feeling pretty angry at myself for wearing her words so hard and for creating a whole situation out of it.  I let her words effect me way too much, especially since they were all really fucking vague.  So here I am waiting for an email from her, and feeling pretty unhappy w spiraling negative feelings.  I am pretty over that.  fuuuuuck