The Abyss

When I wake

spirals bounce erratically

shaking my cage

bending the bars

but they do not escape

They find solace in the empty spaces

the convince me of their ephemerality

but they have always been there

they have never came nor have they left

they just are

At night, alone with my thoughts

they return

I am reminded of my prison

any ideas of freedom are lost

stripped of my delusions, the illusion arises

no longer can i hide from myself

no longer can i neatly tuck away the bouncing spirals i call thoughts

So i follow them

Deep into the abyss

I am diving without oxygen

I am diving blindly

I am traversing the unknown without so much as an illusion of safety

Body, Soul, Earth, Past, Future , amalgamate

Deep into the abyss the spirals are too fast for me to hold onto

They become vines growing exponentially out of control

As i grab onto one it sinks deeper, leaving me floating

I grab another, I sink again

Spontaneous combustion looms

Cannot take it anymore

I rebuild my prison

I lay the bricks

I build the walls

I put up the bars

I climb in

Safely imprisoned, for now

The First in a Series Entitled: Things I write while I am "lifeguarding"

Fireflies

they arent as different as you think

they love their children

they work hard

they laugh until they are writhing on the floor

they cry tears of sadness and tears of joy

but they ARE that different

they were born in a different world

some 2 worlds away where silvers spoons are not a plenty

they are born in your world, where they are

they are everywhere

they dont need you but you need them

you hold them down

they lift you up

you are the useless decoration sitting on their strong foundation

you wear drive and eat the fruits of their labor

you refuse to acknowledge their existence

their humanity falls prey to your deaf ears

as they work for the families, you work their families

you keep their fathers and mothers away from home to satiate your greed

but is it unsatiable, never-ending and will grow til you've consumed them all

the simple beauty of their complex lives stands out will shines brightly until you have put it out

and you will

you will use them to bring about your own end

and youll wonder how it happened

but you will know

each time you have walked past them

and told yourself some seemingly small white lie to make your day guilt free

you knew

and one day these selfish inhuman moments will come together inside you

they will explode into waves made of years of lost empathy

the ripples of your greed will flow through your body

you will become visibly sick, they will see the mistake of your parasitic life

and they will know your humanity has come too late to shine,

you are dark

and they will be fireflies

lighting up the darkness

till all the light goes out