yup

I haven't posted here in over a month.  I don't even think of it often.  I felt cripplingly sad for the first time in a while tonight.  Sometimes, as David Foster Wallace once wrote(and which I will paraphrase here), life feels more like a steep hill to be traversed, only to find that when we wake we are back at the bottom.  I am not as into my main project, my radio show, lately.  I miss hosting it with B, and my new host is out of town and not as involved as B was.  I dunno.  fuck.  I guess I feel better when I am more consistently creative, whether that be through my surfing, reading, thinking, or projects like writing or the radio.  I feel creative lately, like I am exploding with ideas and thoughts, but most of them feel like critique.  I wish there was a more positivistic side to it.  I feel the desire to travel, something I don't often feel.  I worry about missing snail and the relationship we have built together.  I worry about money and society bullshit.  I dunno, part of me just wants to get the fuck out and meet some people who don't know me at all, where I don't have to talk about politics at all, and here  can just do shit that I find pleasure in with other people who also find pleasure in the same things. 

Meh  maybe I'll have something more exciting to write soon.  I have things I need to do.  Will I do them?