have a nice evening:

People have all kinds of vices, alchohol, drugs, casual sex, those are probably the sexiest of the vices, mine is candy and sweets in all their glorious forms from doughnuts to york peppermint patties to my personal favorite, the 7 11 slurpee. i could write endlessly about the slurpee as it has been my muse since i got my drivers license at 16 and gained the ability to instantly fill my body with that sweet sugary goodness. this was just a quick anecdote i used to seemlessly transition to the point of this, which was what went through my mind right before for maybe the first time in years i decided not to say "have a nice evening" i was at my local 7 11 and i got the usual, a coke slurpee(orange cream wasnt working) a box of licoriece, and a york peppermint pattie. i had used to typical justification, i actually havent had candy in at least a week as i have been trying not to eat it anymore, and i also am planning on staying up all nite to finish a buncha hw i never did and finish reading sex drugs and cocoa puffs, which is more thought provoking than i had imgained. i connect to it in a lot of ways, probably because i can see klosterman as in somewhat of the same mold as me, except in very different ways. nonetheles, i came to the counter and paid for my goodies. now usually i strike up a conversation with a cashier, or anyone providing me any kind of service, its just what i do, i talk a lot to random people and usually can provide them with some laughter, unless its a random girl im talking to which usually will result in endless self deprecating humor and probably not be altogether very successful. anyways, the middle aged woman who i see and talk to on sometimes a daily basis, was putting stickers on hot dog packets, some kind of promotion or whatever. and as i was on my way out, i caught myself right before i said my usual " i hope u have a good evening" because in my mind i couldnt imagine any plausible scenario where she could have a good evening. shes working at 7 11 all the time which for someone who doesnt drink slurpess 24/7 is probably not the happiest most fulfilling job. besides that, she just had that look in her eyes that im lucky for the freedom i have, which is basically the freedom not to work at 7 11 or any other simliar establishment. anyways, i got into my car, and wasnt quite sure what to think of what i had done. i decided not to say "have a nice evening" because i didnt want to sound like an insincere prick rubbing her shitty life in her face. this seems cynical, and i dont pretend to know her or the quality of the life she lives, or how fulfilling it is. however, i couldnt help but feel that in this occasion, saying that would just somehow feel wrong. at the end of all this seemingly normal slurpee run, i did not get the boost of happiness i usually get, maybe i was slightly angry at myself for this line of thought, maybe i was just sad for the live i imagined this woman living. maybe it was because i thought of how i would feel if someone said that to me if i were in her position. or maybe its just another case of me overanlyzing everything in order to give it a deeper meaning, but then again, maybe its not