a short blog about me for me:

why do i care about ridiculous things? why do i seek value in the opinions of others concerning me? for instance, i actually care whether or not my friends think i surf better than drew(whcih i do) but which is totally irrelevant to anything. however, this manages to cause me a great deal of unhappiness. how do i not care? i just dont know. i think i also have a thing about needing to be valued by other people. i want people to think im smart, funny, good looking, and just a good person. i want to be special to other people. im not really sure why. when i honestly think about it i cant think of exactly why. im gnona talk to my psychologist about it tomorrow morning, but chances are ill learn nothing new but ill try. what i hate most about my ex gf dating another guy i think is of him being "better ' than me or more important to her. i want to be the most important, even tho i havent even talked to her in several months. same with my friends, i want to be the best friend, the one who they talk to about important things, the one who makes them feel better about themselves. but hoenstly, im not really that person anymore, i used to be better. lately ive become obsessed w myself and my feelings. its sickening to hear myself talk about myself all the fucking time, and i know people(friends and family) are sick of hearing it. they can only care about the same fuckin problems so much. fuck